Too many coaches in the stands

If you live anywhere close to a college town – you know the fever that happens in the Fall.  This is my first football season living in Athens, and I’m already learning the ropes; don’t try to get downtown on a Saturday, don’t rely on the data service for my iPhone (I guess the towers overload), and you can get away with wearing pretty much anything you want as long as it’s red and black.  You can’t not like football in a town like Athens, where it is not uncommon to see grown men bark like dogs.

But something changes when the game starts.  Half of the fans turn into coaches. (The other half of us just have to listen to this mindless ‘coaching’)  What was once a rabid expression of fan-dom for one of the greatest schools in history (yes, I’m biased) is now a critique of every play and call.  I always love sitting next to the guy who is watching from home, but yells and screams as if he is on the sidelines and getting paid to be the head guy.

While football is not necessarily rocket science – it is absolutely not easy to be the coach on the field.  Most of us don’t realize how many things a college football coach has to be proficient at to do his job with excellence.  Instead, we seem to be happy with our own critiques.

It seems that we carry this same attitude to many other areas of life. I’ve been in ministry long enough to know that there will always be coaches in the stands at our churches.  It is an unfortunate reality. Many of us ‘coach’ from the stands, making clear what we would or would not do if we found ourselves in the same position.  In all reality, by critiquing we are often undermining the authority God has placed over us as well as helping strip that same authority from others lives.  We may not always agree with every ‘call’ or ‘decision’, but it is not our responsibility to make those calls or decisions. Submission to leadership doesn’t mean you can’t have an opinion, but it means that when it is all said and done with- the team (or in this case the kingdom) is much more important than my opinion.

So, slow down the coaching from the stands and start getting excited when you see victories and help rally when it seems like we’re behind.  The best thing we can do is to stop coaching from the stands and start getting in the game and making a difference.

Patrick Gillen Ministries International

I really haven’t made an intentional break from blogging, but I’ll admit it has been nice.  While I have never considered myself to be much of an expert – I have always enjoyed the process of blogging, helping me flesh out ideas and thoughts.  Nonetheless, it is quite possible I will pick back up my regular routine – but equally as plausible that I will simply enjoy ministry and family too much to invest too much time into updating.  Either way, here are a few words for tonight:

When you serve in ministry, you often hear people refer to what they do as ‘my’ ministry.  It’s not an incorrect form of ownership and responsibility; but I’ve become more and more disheartened by the lack of interest in doing what God has called us to do as pastors.  The very word itself is expressed with the intention of being ‘Shepherds”.  I haven’t known that many shepherds in my life, but I imagine it is not exactly how we like to picture them.

For some reason, many of us picture David sitting under a tree in a clean robe playing his harp with his hair flowing with the wind.  As I said, I haven’t been around too many shepherds, but I have seen sheep.  They are commonly referred to as dumb animals; but beyond their incompetence, they are also nasty.  Being a shepherd isn’t clean, neat and easy.  In fact, it seems quite the opposite.  Not only that, most shepherds are hired help — in other words, it’s not their sheep that they’re watching.

This may be why I have a distaste for the ownership in ministry.  It is quite an honor to be a pastor, but it is also easy to get lost in whom it is we are serving.  Typically speaking, our tendency is to either place ourselves or the ones we serve as the primary recipient of our interest.

It seems what we miss is that when God has called us into a vocational ministry to pastor, He has called us to HIS ministry.  It’s no longer “MY” anything, and it is certainly not someone else’s ministry.  Ultimately, my primary responsibility is not to my own idealism or innovation – but in my surrender to following through with WHATEVER God has asked of me.

This is something I am still learning, but I love that God is not through with me yet!  I can’t wait to see how He will teach me more about what it takes to surrender my goals to His own.

Post from my iphone

Just testing out my Wordpress app from my iPhone.

Family or Ministry?

Family or Ministry?  Honestly, my answer is both.  It’s hard to have a ministry w/out a family and it’s hard for your family to really be separated from your ministry.  However, if it comes down to the hard question of which one will you choose over the other… my answer 10 times out of 10 will be my family.  Growing up, I was instilled with almost a mafia-type appreciation for my family.  (The word ‘respect’ was mentioned pretty often)  We’ve all heard the phrase Blood is thicker than water, and I learned at an early age that this was truth.  We may not always get along the best, but I know that when I really need them, my family is always there for me and will go to great lengths to help me out.  So, I put family first – and for a variety of reasons:

1.  You lose your family, you will most likely lose your ministry anyway. The other way doesn’t necessarily always play out – if you lose your ministry, your family is still there.  So it goes to show that the most effort should probably be put in your family as it is a driving force behind your ministry in the first place.

2.  God instituted the family first. Before the church, God instituted the family.  Our families deserve a much higher priority than we often give them.  My first priority as a dad is to make sure that I am discipling my children.  If I can’t disciple my own children, how can I expect to disciple anyone else?!

3.  By placing family first we model an example. When we make our family a priority, it shows other people that they need to do the same.  Often times people put jobs or hobbies above the ones closest to them.

4.  When all else fades, family remains. You are stuck with your family whether you like them or not. :) And when careers come and go, homes fade, cars rust, and technology goes obsolete – what you have left is your investment in your family.

One day we will all hit that golden age when we retire.  All of the ‘fame’ we have hoped to generate with our names will be forgotten by then.  It’s a hard reality to understand that we are all replaceable.  However, in the end, I am the only one that can be my sons dad.  There are simply some relationships in my family that are not replaceable.  So I want to be the best that I can be.

Hiatus Over?

It seems at least once a year I take an unintentional hiatus from blogging.  Honestly, it’s difficult to get back into the habit of blogging when you’ve taken a break.

In the past 3 months I have started at a new church, moved houses, been to Barbados and now I’m nursing a sinus infection.  It seems there has always been ’something’ to keep me from having any free time to blog.  Even now I am a tad overwhelmed with everything – and to be honest, I cannot wait to be finally moved fully into our new house.

So let me tell you about a little bit of what God has been doing in our lives:

I spent the beginning of the year anticipating a change in ministry- and God brought us to Prince Avenue Baptist Church near Athens, GA.  It is a GREAT church that God is doing so much in!  I have followed a guy who was here for 29 years (which is almost unheard of in any circles whether pastor or youth pastor) and there are some big shoes to fill.  I welcome the challenge and am enjoying it.  In fact, last sunday we voted in a Middle School Pastor – so I am looking forward to that partnership as well.

I commuted for 6 weeks to work – which is about an hour and 15 minute drive.  It could’ve been much worse, but with everything going on around here, it kept me pretty busy!  I would return home only to help Melanie pack a few things up in boxes and spend a few precious minutes with Shay.

I was THRILLED to sell my home, however our buyer picked a closing date that made our lives a little stressful (though not as stressful as not selling our home!) – by setting our closing date 3 days before we left for Barbados.  That got pushed back to 2 days, which pushed our closing on our new house to the day before we left on our mission trip!  We closed on Wednesday morning on our new home, moved all day wednesday, had youth group wednesday night and left the house at 6:30am for Barbados on Thursday!  It was CRAZY!

I was the Project Coordinator for an International World Changers event in Barbados.  Actually, more specifically I was the PC for the first ever Powerplant International which worked through IWC.  We had 67 participants and saw God do some amazing things that week!

We arrived home to a house full of boxes to unpack.  It’s not the worst scenario in the world, but when you’re looking forward to relaxing on the couch – first you have to find the couch, then clear it, then lay down. :)  If all we had were boxes it would be one thing, but that next week we had c3 camp  and VBS here at church.  I helped a little with C3 and Mel helped with VBS.

Last Saturday, Mel left for her families vacation.  I am hoping to catch up with them on Wednesday night and stay until Saturday so I can be back for church – but now it turns out I have a sinus infection.  I think I’m just ready to get back ‘in the groove’.

So, needless to say – while I have taken a hiatus, I have really just been trying to stay on top of things.  I think when you do blog (or simply write) relatively often, you start thinking in blog form.  It’s like when I’m able to Twitter (no data on my phone for the past 2 months has kept me from twittering as much) frequently, I start thinking in 140 characters or less. :)

One thing is certain in the midst of the craziness starting out this year – I am thrilled to be exactly where God wants me at a wonderful church.  I have thankful (beyond measure) for an incredible family who has stuck through so much and stayed strong.  I am blessed to be in an incredible house – that is definitely one of the nicest places I have ever lived.  I am looking forward to many great years ahead!

3 Kinds of Churches

I’m sure there are more, but in my short experience I have noticed at least 3 different types of churches.  Often times these churches reflect their pastors, but in reality their culture can be so ingrained that it would take many years for a pastor to ‘undo’ or ‘redo’ anything that needs a little bit of a change.  It is another reason why it is so imperative that a church hire a pastor that they can follow and trust – because it is difficult to move forward without a leader.

My names are pretty lame, but you get the idea nonetheless.

1.  The Dead-in-the-water Church. This is the church that hasn’t seen ‘life’ in a long time.  They are doing the same thing they did 50 years ago with no results.  The church is shrinking because the congregation is dying out.  They have no desire to change and are otherwise ignorant to the fact that they are largely ineffective not just in reaching their community, but in reaching their own congregants.  This type of church is happy not making waves and their primary goal is to stay afloat and pay the bills.

2.  The Struggling-to-breathe Church. This church has seen better days, and often speaks of those days with fondness.  There is sometimes a desire to break out of their shell and other times a willingness to do whatever it takes.  Often the struggling church struggles because everybody isn’t on board with the same vision.  There is a tension because there is a desire to grow, but not a desire to change in order to reach that growth.  Many don’t understand that changing in methods is not a change in theology or philosophy in ministry.  Another version of this church could be ‘the fluff’ church.  One that may be growing numerically, but they aren’t grounded and solid in the Word.  It’s not just enough to get warm bodies in the door – it’s a matter of what we DO that defines our direction here.

3.  The Solid and Growing Church. Probably the least common (unfortunately) church is the solid and growing church.  This is a church that trusts their leadership, that is faithful to the task of fulfilling the Great Commission and the Great Commandment.  They are often the ones found doing the ministry, and not just talking about it.  This church is not to be confused with a fluff church – as often they appear to be solid and growing but truthfully it’s built on the fame of the pastor, methods, or something beyond the Gospel.  While it’s easy to measure a church by it’s tangible growth, a solid church will also have intangible growth as more and more people become disciples and further commit to following Christ.

Just a few thoughts I’ve had lately that probably aren’t worth much!

A Ministry Like Facebook

It wasn’t that long ago I can remember my excitement over Myspace.  Though it was short-lived, I remember loving the ability to connect and keep up with friends beyond email or any other type of correspondence.  By updating my page, I could inform many of my friends at the same time what was going on in my life too. Social networking had been around, but it was typically at a price and had many parameters that narrowed it’s ability to connect.  Myspace was free and untamed.

Not long after that day someone turned me on to facebook.  Almost immediately I stopped using my myspace (after finding many of those same friends over on facebook) except for people who weren’t in college (at the time facebook was for people with college emails only).  With myspace, you have the ability to over-customize your experience.  Every Myspace page looked different as people added their own designs.  The problem with such personalization is there seemed to be no uniformity in the mission and goal of myspace.  Almost as if myspace was simply a template in which you could create your own neck of the woods.

Facebook, on the other hand, is not as easily customizable.  There is one color scheme and basic layout.  You can change the info and data, but not the overall experience.  Even the ads seem to be more well placed, that you simply don’t mind them.  There are many reasons facebook has grown to be much larger than myspace, but I believe it’s clear uniformity in goals and purpose are a major part.

There are a lot of ministries that take both approaches, but in my opinion the ones that take the more ‘facebook’ approach tend to win out.  Simply handing out jobs is not delegation.  Trying to appease each individual person creates a spiritual mess and you don’t know what to expect from person to person.  In being effective in reaching others, we need to create a defined system or way of acting and reacting in our ministry.  In other words, the overall purpose and objectives are displayed in the very structure itself.  Sure each person is different, their likes and dislikes – but people will jump on board when they know what you’re about.

Handing pieces to different people not on board with the vision can ruin what you hope to accomplish.  Instead, delegate and distribute responsibility based upon an agreed upon set of values and goals — you’ll be better in the end for it.  After all, not many people miss myspace.

I love change, but I had transitions.

I’m simply not patient.

In fact, I waited for 23 years and when I got engaged, I was ready to get married and quit waiting — so Mel and I were engaged for 4 months.  Ok, there were other factors, but a lot of it came down to not wanting to sit in a state of transition for a year or more.

The thing is, change is healthy.  I’ve told people that so many times in my life and I live it.  I’m not afraid of change, and in fact embrace it as an expected and welcomed part of life.  The past few months have brought much change, but also a long period of transition. (hence the lack of blogging or much else)

In the past few months my laptop has been in the shop 3 times.  When you’re trying to get stuff done, this is not fun.  My cell phone randomly deletes emails, contacts and even calendar functions… and the battery was lasting only 20 minutes of talk time (until Ray hooked me up)!  Put on top of that I’m commuting 80 minutes each way to work while we are packing our house up and moving to a new one.  Our buyer set our closing date 6 weeks out – which is a long time of transition.  I hate that state of limbo – the part where you’re not fully one place or the other.

Of course we move in a little over 2 weeks and have 2 days to move in before we’re in Barbados on a mission trip.  However, after that – hopefully the dust will settle a bit and we’ll be ready to start our new life in Bogart.

Change happens, so prepare for it – but I never get used to the transitions.

More Blog Love

While I’m settling into a new ministry, trying to get the house packed up, and preparing for a mission trip… I haven’t had the time to blog as often.  So I may take the opportunity to highlight others who are doing a great job.

Perry just posted on a series on 4 Points of attack that people will use to attack your ministry. Here’s an excerpt from #4, Your Ministry Methods:

People are GOING to question how you do things…no matter how you do them.  (BTW…they questioned the ministry methods of Jesus!  I would say if people aren’t asking questions and getting offended then you are not being like Christ!)

(A little more on the above thought—Jesus was ALWAYS healing on the Sabbath, which was considered to be a “sin” in that society.  Think about that…there were people who actually accused Jesus of sin because His ministry methods didn’t match up with their personal preferences.  Hmmmm.)

  • If you preach line by line, verse by verse then some people are going to prefer that you be more of a topical teacher.
  • If you preach topical messages some people will scream that you need to exegete the text!
  • If you use “secular” music then some people will scream you are “loving the world.”
  • If you use all “Christian” music then some people will scream that you are not relating to people outside of the church.
  • If you dress up then some people will say that you make them feel uncomfortable because they don’t really have any “church clothes.”
  • If you wear jeans and a T-shirt then some will say that “you aren’t giving God your best!”

What I am saying is this…there is NO WAY that a ministry leader can please every single person coming in the doors!  I once told a pastor, “You could stand at the back of your church this Sunday and give away $100 bills and SOMEONE would hate you for it!”

What you’ve GOT to do is figure out God’s unique calling on your life…and then DO IT with no apologies.  If you and I are not being true to the call God has placed on our lives then we are basically slapping His grace in the face and saying to Him by our actions, “People’s opinions are more important than Yours!”

(I once heard Craig Groeschel say, “Becoming obsessed with what people think about me is the quickest way to forget what God thinks about me.”)

Money Doesn’t Produce Passion

Shaun King hit the nail on the head with this post about how Money Doesn’t Produce Passion. Some of the worst things you can do is have people on your team who are there for a paycheck. There is absolutely nothing wrong with people getting paid, or being a blessing to someone who is committed – but you’ve got to beware of making sure your team is involved because of their passion for ministry above a buck.

Here’s a little of what Shaun says:

  • If people were not really passionate about God or the church you lead before you started paying them, they won’t grow one single ounce of passion about God or the church you lead because you pay them.
  • If people were really passionate about God or the church you lead before you started paying them, paying them does not mean that this passion will be magically sustained or revived with each paycheck they receive.